There are moments when it feels like the air gets knocked out of all of us at once.
A deadly video goes viral. A ruling is announced, a situation happens, a headline loops on every screen. And suddenly, your heart is racing, your body is tense, your sleep is off. You know this is not normal but you understand you weren't there and you're not even sure why you feel this so strongly, because you weren't there. But you were, you witnessed it. We all are, in a way.
This is the weight of collective trauma. This is the emotional and physiological response we experience as individuals when the world reminds us it isn’t always safe.
If you’ve been feeling exhausted, anxious, jumpy, distracted, or strangely numb, I want you to know: that is a normal response to abnormal circumstances.
Here are some ways to care for yourself when you're feeling shaken by what you’ve seen or experienced, especially when it wasn’t even “your trauma,” but it’s living in your body anyway.
You don’t have to consume all of it to stay informed. It’s okay to close the app, mute accounts, or take a break. In fact, your nervous system will thank you.
Exposure doesn’t equal action. Being flooded with traumatic images or videos can activate your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight), leaving you in a state of constant alert. This can lead to feelings that you're not safe. I understand for a lot of us these feelings are validated by the current situations and this might represent reality for us.
Give yourself permission to disconnect for a while. That doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re protecting yourself. It is important for us to stay regulated for our children. We cannot gather, organize and make meaningful change if we are burned out and confused. Regulation is crucial for resistance.
Even when the world feels broken, connection can be the glue.
Call a friend. Sit next to someone in silence. Join a support group. Message someone who might be feeling the same way. You are not weak for needing other people, you’re wired for it.
Trauma isolates. Community heals as long as it is safe and supportive.
Eat. Rest. Hydrate. Move.
Even if it’s just one nourishing meal. One full glass of water. One slow walk around the block.
Taking care of your body doesn’t erase the pain but it can help you move through the emotions. This is especially true for moms and caregivers, whose nervous systems are often already stretched thin. Fueling your body is not indulgent, it is essential.
Sleep is not avoidance. It’s repair. It is necessary for your wellbeing.
The world may feel like it’s on fire, but you are still allowed to rest. You do not have to prove your worth by burning out. Let your body rebuild. Let your mind dream.
When you’re ready, take action. That might mean:
Action helps restore a sense of agency and even small actions matter. But don’t confuse doing everything with doing something. You’re allowed to start small and still make a difference.
If what you're feeling doesn’t pass or if it’s reactivating past trauma please consider reaching out to a professional. Therapy can help you process, heal, and make meaning out of what feels impossible to carry alone.
There is no shame in needing support. There is wisdom in seeking it!
And your empathy is not a flaw it’s a sign that you still care and caring about others, especially those whose voice is silenced or who are in danger, is crucial to our collective wellbeing. In fact, its quite lovely that you still believe in something better.
So be tender with yourself. Keep showing up in the ways you can. And let’s keep imagining and building the kind of world we want to live in: one well-fed, well-rested, well-supported nervous system at a time.
You're not alone. I’m with you.
—
Dr. Nichelle Haynes
Board-Certified Psychiatrist | Maternal Mental Health Specialist
